All in the Family

No, the title does not refer to the brilliant Norman Lear television show, although the late master of socially relevant and irreverent sitcoms would have found rich material in the Trump trial.

It seems that Trump needs to stretch the idea of family beyond recognition in order to have any support whatsoever. The only blood relative who has “graced” the dingy Manhattan courtroom with his presence is Eric, with his Foxy-news wife Lara, who managed to squeeze a court visit in between the two stops on her not-quite Taylor Swift tour promoting her gawd-awful attempt at singing.  

So, Trump’s surrogate family has filed in and filled in. And what a motley crew they are, albeit rather sharply dressed in their matchy-matchy blue suits and crotch-tickling red ties. 

Today, May 20, the Trump “family” featured Chuck Zito, the former head of the New York chapter of the Hells Angels motorcycle club. Other surrogate family members over the trial weeks have included Matt “the sleaze” Gaetz, Tommy “not-so-bright” Tuberville, Lauren “the gun-toting’-groper” Boebert, Mike “the pretend-Christian” Johnson, Bernie “the disgraced-police-commissioner-felon” Kerik and the dependably thuggish Boris “the lawyer-with-anger-management-issues” Epshteyn, who seems a constant presence.

Alluding to the attempted menacing implicit in the entourage, Gaetz pledged, “Standing back and standing by, Mr. President,” paraphrasing Trump’s provisional invitation to the Proud Boys which he issued during a 2020 presidential debate. The invitation was accepted on January 6, 2021, when the eager lads joined in the merry proceedings at the Capitol. Please join me in imagining the seemingly flaccid Gaetz decked out in Proud Boys gear. I think Gaetz is even scared of Marjorie Taylor Greene (but who isn’t?).

Absurdity aside, I’m disappointed that privilege rears its nasty, mostly white, head again. I understand that it is legal and traditional to allow defendants the support of family and, perhaps a few close friends, in the courtroom.  But what bizarre protocol allows a rotating cast of political opportunists to bypass the line all the mere mortals have to sleep in and waltz through the private entrance with their cult leader?  Reports from the courtroom indicate that these “friends” have been disruptive, walking in and out during the proceedings and using cellphones in violation of the rules.

Then they blatantly assist in breaking the gag order, which clearly disallows surrogates from doing what Trump cannot. One reporter claims to have seen a list of surrogate talking points in Trump’s hands at the defense table. 

If you fail to see the intent at influencing/intimidating the jury, I have some Trump steaks to sell you.

What other legal proceeding would tolerate this? 

Imagine a member of the Bloods, Crips or Latin Kings on trial, who filled several rows of the courtroom with “colleagues” decked out in their colors, glaring at the judge and jury.  The blue suit/red tie gang colors are far more dangerous. At least the other gangs mostly hurt each other.

I don’t think Charles Manson’s “family members” were given priory seating at his trial so that they might train their crazed eyes on a jury hearing tales of mayhem and bloody slaughter. 

It is impossible to know the outcome of this trial, but it seems certain to be the only trial Trump will face before the election. It is a shame that he has been able to turn it into a political circus, despite the ineffective, unenforced gag order. The court gives him a spotlight to lie to the media before and after each session. His retinue of lying sycophants shamelessly suck up, hoping to stay in his favor in case his dictator dream comes true.

I know none of us would get away with it. One indiscretion and we’d be bounced from the courtroom. We wouldn’t be granted a “podium” in the courthouse to call the judge names and say the trial is fraudulent. 

As to Trump, an ordinary citizen would be in custody by now for flagrantly and repeatedly violating conditions of release. This has been his life story. As he said, he could shoot somebody on Fifth Avenue and no one would care. 

He’s a celebrity and he’s grabbed the country by the p****.   

We let him do it, you know.